Sighpie

Heyyy lovess, I'm blogging from my phone and I apologize because this is the first time blogging from my phone and I have no idea how to insert a picture so, I apologise for a really wordy and dull blog post today. I have not been blogging for almost a month now, have been really busy with school so I hope ya'll will understand but since today I finally took the time to blog I hope it doesn't bore all of you to death , haha. So recently I've not been in a really good mood and I know this wasn't suppose to be a rant post or anything but Its like I really needed to write out my feelings yeah? Recently I've not been on very good terms with mu ccamate as we've just had a quarrel and you know sometimes people say words without realizing how much it can hurt you. Sigghhpie,recently I just can't seem to figure things out it's like nothing seems to make sense . Everyone around just seems like they don't get my words though im so glad I have great friends like my grandson joseph and gerald, my best ' fwen ' Aaron they just really makes me smile regardless how shitty I feel so for that I thank you and I appreciate that. In a blink of an eye 7month have passed already and tml will be 01/08 . AHHH, gonna miss my friendss when we graduate from our current class especially my qtpaiz Aaron , awww ):
Anyway gonna end this post here cause I rlly cannot tahan using phone to blog. I apologise for this awkward weird post and I shall came back real soon with a official post!
Xoxo, ♡

Pms days / Smile

PMS DAYS : 

HELLO SEXXAAAH READERS ! I'm back with another post and this post was actually chosen by my lovelies Eileen and Christine so yeah , they better read it . Starting with pms days i guess , as a girl we all do pms right ? I mean there are just moments when someone really pisses you off and u just stab them a thousand times but obviously just in your mind . For me , when it happens i'll turn into a more vulgar kind of person ? The little things will piss me off very easily ? Not to mention , i cry even easier . It's just kind of like everyone is pissing you off , so for the whole day i hold the '' I hate everyone '' attitude .

All credits to the owner of the photo (: I bet most of the girls will totally understand how i feel . I mean like it's already worst enough that you're bleeding and then people around just don't understand how shitty you already feel . So my advice ( or maybe not a advice ) would be , When people annoy you just give them the face like '' srsly gtfo my face , i don't wanna see you '' It's just so much better than wasting your effort to scold people . Or you know , just Nomnom on chocolates maybe you'll feel better nyehehe . 

SMILEEEE : 

Now moving on to the subject smile . Well to be honest i had no complete idea what i would blabber about because i mean smile ? Whats there to talk about but now it shall be turned into a serious topic , or not . Okays so i believe in everyone's life there will be one time where we truly smile because we really want to . While there might be times where we just smile to pretend we're okay . You know ? To stop the '' Are you fine ? '' , '' Are you okay ? '' , '' you look upset '' 

               

  Again , all credits to the owner of the photo . Kind of like how this photo explains it all yeah ? We just really have to smile in order to not get question . Most of the time , we're given a choice to look at things on the bright side and the negative side but we always choose to look at it on the negative side . Why be so hard on yourself ? Sometimes we just got to look at things  on the bright side and smile . Faking a smile can prevent the questions but you'll never be able to fool yourself . 

'' Smiling is the best remedy to all pains ''

xoxo,

Jesline 

Fake .

HELLO SEXY READERS ! I'm posting again and today's post is gonna be about '' fake '' i guess ? So today one of my friend told me '' Who ask you so silly , fell for someone like him ? '' And i replied '' If you know he's this kind of person , why are you still friends with him ? '' and my friend replied '' fake '' so i asked my friend '' why fake ? '' and he said '' In society , isn't everyone being fake ? Society is like this we all have to be fake . '' and it just kind of inspired me to write about this post . Nowadays , isn't society stressful ? It seems like everyone around us is just wearing a mask , no one seems to want to be themself anymore . Why ? We try so hard to fit into society that without us noticing , we have already change completely to someone else . We're just wearing a mask everyday , without an identity . Just a person that everyone expects you to be .

Sometimes i just wonder , can we really be who we want to be ? Or is it we simply live to please everyone around us ? Because it seems like we never truly listen to how we feel and speak what we truly think . Nowadays , walking around the street it seems hard to trust anyone . Everyone seems to just be wearing a mask , you never know whose real and whose just out there to hurt you . Why can we all just be comfortable with who we are ? If we were given a chance to be ourselves , would we ? 

'' The one battle we fight , is within ourselves '' 

xoxo,

   Jesline

That one friend .

Hello qtpaiz ! I'm back with a new post ! For those people that don't like seeing dedication post , i'm just giving you a warning here , you might not like this post cause i'm dedicating to someone special ! Okay to start it off , i'm gonna name this dude piggy okays ? Clear ? Now time to be serious , I'm just gonna start this post with a simple brief introduction to Piggy . I first saw him in Primary school , we never really talked . Back then to me , he was just that guy that likes to act cool , like he has no emotions and had lots of girls that liked him well it was true , many girls did like him . I never had a conversation with him in Primary school , we were just complete strangers . Moving on to secondary school , he was my classmate . Again , i never really talked to him because i hardly ever see him talking to girls . I guess he's just really shy around girls ? This year , our class sitting arrangement he was assign to sit beside me . We were just really awkward i mean , i was once his bestfriend's ex . I just didn't know how to communicate with him but how we started was through a question i guess ? I was just this really blur girl that never pays attention in class and ends up not knowing what the shit the teacher has spoken about so i actually asked him for help and surprisingly , he himself didn't know what the teacher was saying either . Soon we became friends ? I still remember starting of the year , we threw paper balls at each other during maths class and my maths teacher started scolding us ! We were scolded twice by our maths teacher , The second time was the worst ! He actually scolded us Hopeless and gangster . I mean , i know we're NA and we're not as good as express but really scolding us hopeless ? So at that point of time , he was a lot closer to my other friend so yeah , i hardly ever talked with him unless i really needed to . We were just friends that hardly ever talk .

After a while , something went wrong and he and my other friend stopped talking . Soon , we started talking even more then we used to ! Let me tell you this , he is one hell of a amazing guy ! i could talk all day about him . You see , as a girl there are days where i would be so PMS and rage over every little thing that people say or do but him ? He somehow never makes me angry . There are some days where  i just tell myself '' I just want to be alone and emo all day because no one understands me ! '' Then he , just makes me laugh like one crazy bitch and forget about how i was previously feeling ! You know , it's kind of amazing how someone who was once a complete stranger to you is now currently a best friend ? Sometimes , we fake quarrel and we just end up laughing over how silly it is ! We love competing with each other and him being good in math and me being slightly better in english , he would always go '' COMPARE MATHS LA '' and i would be like '' COMPARE ENGLISH LA '' you know it's always those meaningless fight that it's so hard to forget ! I remember last saturday i had a terrible break down . I was crying so bad and i was just in a complete bad mood on sunday but i had to act like i was okay and fake a smile infront of all my friends . On Monday when school reopned , i just told myself '' this is it , all your friends are gonna be here staring at you . Don't make them worry , smile ! '' so for the whole flag raising period , i was just faking as though i was really happy . When i went for first period it was ART , and in our ARTROOM he sat quite a few tables beside me so we don't usually talk during art . Second period was Chinese and we sat at different places . After recess it was CCE , which meant we had to sit at our own class arrangements and he was beside me again . I was thinking '' Just great , he's beside me now . He's gonna make me smile like a bitch when deep down i really feel like shit '' But surprisingly , what i did was i looked at his report book and he saw mine and saw that my english pctl was 92.6% and he was like 9.9% so we soon started a conversation then . Next period was math and i can't remember how but he made me smile so much and laughed like a crazy women that for a second i almost forgot all the pain i was feeling inside . He isn't like the others . He is not the kind where he'll fake as your friend for fame . He never fails to make me smile even on the gloomiest day . Sometimes , we really need someone who can listen to our rant and unhappiness and he is always there to listen to whatever bullshit that i have to say . He never fails to make smile , quarrel with me and just make me laugh . Like how i say , on some days when i don't feel good and even if he doesn't know it , he still has a way to make me smile . I'm not beautiful , skinny or the best in the world but yet he still accepts me as a friend . I just can't believe you are in the same group as me in literature , PE and you're even my sci lab partner , omg ! You so annoying la ): 

It's amazing how someone who was once a stranger can now be the craziest and best friend you ever had . He's my bitch friend , i'm always gonna be there to disturb him and just make him angry . Since we're changing classes very soon next year , i'm cherishing him even more as a friend . If he ever reads this post i just really wanna say , HEY YOU THIS BASTARD ! I can't believe how we were strangers in primary school and now friends ! I just really wanna thank you for making me smile and laugh even when i really don't want to , for making silly quarrels over the marks we have , for listening to the silly rants and unhappiness i have over life , for being what i call a friend , for accepting me for who i am and all my flaws , your presence itself has definitely made my life so much less stressful . I just really want to say , you're always gonna be my best friend and i'm always gonna love hate you ! 

xoxo,

     Jesline(:

June holiday (:

WARNING : THIS BLOG POST IS GONNA BE SUPER BORING . HELLO SEXY READERS . I'm back with another post and this is just basically gonna sum up my whole holiday ? (: Well the first week , nothing much happened cause i went for a course at NYP for my upcoming competition but what was cool was that i managed to somehow make friends with a few  seniors from NYP , they're really funny and friendly ! The second week i went to shili's house a few times ? To see Ace HAHA , super funny la . When shili came out of the room , Ace actually pooped infront of the kitchen ! I just love Shili's dog so much AHH ! Third week , i went to bowling with my lovelies and it didn't go as smoothly as planned but we still had fun . 4th week , Which is the last week and this week , i met up with Shili and she helped me with my History homework WAHAHAHA and today we had cip and i cant believe June holidays are ending soon ): I have yet to complete my homework i keep telling myself '' Aiya tomorrow do la , tomorrow do la '' Do until now also haven't do LOL . I need to seriously start on my homework soon . Overall , this holiday i wouldn't categorise it under super fun , neither would i categorise it under super boring . I mean this holiday , i have just been gaming and gaming and more gaming .

So much for anticipating a ultra fun holiday . I am looking forward to the september holidays though ! I cant believe in roughly 3months more , it's officially my birthday ! Cant wait for that to happen ! Although thinking about it , i haven't had a birthday cake since i was 10 but i think i'll be having cca on my birthday . THAT SUCKS ! Oh my god , i need a life . Give me a break ): And of course i'm anticipating the nov holidays ! I hope our class will be having class bonding ? Hopefully , i'll also get to spend time with my lovelies but i really think during nov holidays i'll just be sitting infront of the com and gaming all day . 

I am exactly the kind of girl that when i game , no one else exist in my world . It's just me my computer and game . Whoever talks to me will get ignored and i hardly reply msgs/watsapp when i am gaming so yeah , try to understand . Shall end my post here , do look forward to my End Of Year post ! i'll be doing loads of dedication and perhaps your name will be on it ! Buhbye sugarcakes (: 

xoxo,

   jesline

Am i over thinking or just tired ?

Hello guise , so i'm trying to blog as much as i can before school reopens then at least you guise have something to read (: Today's title is '' Am i over thinking or just tired ? '' This topic is something that i guess i would really love to talk about on a moody day , LOL . So , as ya'll know i'm a very emotional person so most of the time whatever people do , it affects me really badly . You see , i'll use a very simple example . If someone see's my watsapp and doesn't reply , it makes me feel like i'm annoying or disturbing them and it just somehow hurts me . Especially when the person is close to me , it's just like i'm annoying to them or something . Take 5 minutes to reply me very difficult huh ? Shows that i dont mean much to you . Next , people who make you feel important when you really aren't . You know how some people always make you feel so important and they just ignore you like you're nothing . You know ? It's just like someone bringing you up to the 5th floor and they throw you down . You wont die , but it's gonna hurt you so bad . A perfect example i see nowadays would be some guys they go like '' you're important , i don't want to lose you . '' , '' Trust me , you're everything i want . '' and even '' i only love you , please believe me ? '' Guys , sometimes you really have to think before you say . A simple '' I love you '' , '' i need you '' , '' you're important '' cant stay in a girl's head for such a long time , they are gonna believe whatever you say . Don't say something that you don't mean , when they find out the truth it's gonna hurt a lot . Moving on , Countless hurt . You know how some people , they hurt you for the first time and somehow manage to convince you to believe them again and just hurt you again ? It's always difficult to stay with someone who hurt you once , trusting them it's taking another risk , If you hurt them again it's just gonna be twice the pain . Life is kind of harsh , i mean it almost seems like everyone is wearing a mask every time and every where . You'll never be able to see if they really are gonna cherish you or just trying to use you . Sometimes , it seems like life is pretty tiring with all the ups and downs but , i guess it's gonna be worth while ? (: I apologize for this short post and i'll try to blog as long as possible for the up coming posts ! So be prepared to see me talking about random shit again ! Shall talk to you guys real soon ! (:
                               '' Life gets tiring , you just have to lift your head up '' 
                                                                           xoxo,
                                                                             Jesline

My heartbreak .

Hello awesome  pretty ladies and handsome man , new post up ! I mean i didn't expect i would actually update my blog this quick but , i just got inspired yesterday midnight to talk about this subject . Yes you read the title you know exactly what it's gonna be about . ' My heartbreak ' I mean to start it off , to get you're heart broken of course it means falling in love first . As a girl , i dream of a guy that will love me , cherish me and just never let me go but i'll go along the way why all my relationships or Love didn't work out . 

Again , all credit goes to google and the creator of this picture of course . Well , talking about this subject i cant stand on the guy's perspective cause i am a girl and i do not understand guys as well as i hope i can . So let's get started ! My first heartbreak , oh such a memorable experience i was 11 and it was the first time i was so attracted to a guy and because i had very low self confidence , i didn't confess to him but soon there were rumors that i liked him and soon everyone knew about it . When i say everyone i meant him as well . YES HE KNEW ABOUT IT , i was hell of a embarrassed . Guess what ? i was FRIENDZONED it was very clear he didn't like me , and we just became bro and sis . Of course , it being my first love i was very upset about it and yes , i did cry over what happen and i just couldn't stop thinking why he didn't like me .My 2nd heartbreak , Wow this one is interesting . After failing with the first guy i ever fell in love with , i fell in love with another dude which is currently my best buddy now . He was cool , i mean both of us were really good friends and very soon he confessed and i confessed but we weren't together but soon after countless problems both of us decided it was only best for us to stay as friends and just give up . It took a while but , it was cool . Both of us became really good friends and strangely it didn't bother both of us at all . 

My 3rd heartbreak , Omg this one it hurt alot . When i was 12 , nearing nov holidays which means i was about to graduate primary school already . On our friendship high tea night , all of a sudden i became really close with this dude . He wasn't the kind of guy i would expect myself to fall in love with i mean the height , the way he talks , the attitude but guess what ? i fell anyway . it was cool , we confessed to each other at the starting of 2012 but he was hell of a cruel guy , LOL . After confessing both of just started ignoring each other and it just ended there . I mean it took so long for me to get over him , for once i thought i could love without getting hurt and i was proved that it was only a stupid thought . My 4th heartbreak , this one was a hell of ride . I met this guy in my class and we became good friends , we made fun of each other we laughed at each other and everything was just right about him , BUT DAMN WAS I WRONG . So very soon , he asked me to be his girlfriend and i did , OH FML WHY DID I ACCEPT ? I WAS BLINDED BY LOVE , LIKE LITERALLY BLINDED. When we were together , the first few months were okay but soon it was just constantly fighting and what not . our whole relationship was covered with his lies , lies lies and more lies . I HATED IT . i hate the thought that he couldn't trust me and had to lie to me , so after 7months of his constant lies , i knew it was time for me to end the r/s so i did and it didn't really bother me cause i knew partly if i was a better girlfriend , he would never have lied to me but oh well , things ended there and it sort of made me believe maybe i'll never find true love again . My 5th Heartbreak , The worst heartbreak ever .  This guy , he was the guy that made me stop cutting and he's one amazing dude . He told me he love me regardless of how i look and what not . I  remember once my friend wanted to play a joke on him and said '' You know Jesline got alot pimples ? '' Fyi , i do not have alot of pimples i just have 1 or 2 . And his replied was '' Hah , that makes her even cuter ! '' And well , it was that point of time that really made me believe that he didn't go for looks . So i just instantly fell in love with this guy but unlike all the other heartbreaks i had , this one we were together for 3months and i never did say those 3words ''   I love you '' We never really did quarrel , we were just in love i guess . But , even the best things end . One of my friends ( WHICH IS NOW CURRENTLY NOT ) He decided to play a prank of us and guess what ? The prank it wasn't funny and it ended us . THANKS DUDE APPRECIATE IT . He decided to lie to that dude that i didn't love him and i was just playing with him and because he trusted my friend , he believed his words . He just ended with those words '' Time to let go . '' Sigh , i felt angry at myself for not explaining and i just thought if only i said '' i love you '' to him , would he have stayed ? I waited for him for 6months and he never came back right now we're complete strangers . But it's all over now , the 6months was hell for me but its all over now ! Right now , i'm still afraid to love . Afraid someone might give me false hope and just shatter it like it never meant a thing but one day if a guy is able to prove that love isn't always about getting hurt , he would definitely be my next love *wink* Shall talk to you guys real soon ! bye ! 

'' Love sometimes comes as a dream and leave as a nightmare '' 

xoxo,

Jesline